Posts Tagged "cognitive"

The Ambivalent Style of Relating

»Posted by on Sep 25, 2009 in Life, Psychology, Self-Talk | 0 comments

The second form of insecure relationship is called the ambivalent attachment because it’s a mixture of  desiring love weighed against anger.  This style may develop when the child is unable to receive love and attention on a consistent basis from the caregiver.  The child develops a framework of thinking that then carrys over into adulthood that says; I am not worthy of love.  I am not capable of getting the love I need without being angry and clingy.  Others are capabale of loving me but might not do so because of my flaws.  They might abandon me.  I am poor at getting the love I need and I must please my loved ones or I will be worthless and unlovable.  The ambivalent attachment style often leads to unhealthy dependent relationships on others. ...

read more

The Avoidant Attachment

»Posted by on Sep 23, 2009 in Life, Psychology, Self-Talk, Spiritual | 1 comment

When parents (in Bowlby’s experiments this was primarily referring to the mother) are simply not available, physically or emotionally, or is willing but not able to be there (illness, death), or when the caregivers use insenstive, embarrassing, or sarcastic language, injuries to the the child’s ability to attach and form relationships can occur. In the avoidant style of relating, the child learns that he can’t depend on parents for a safe harbor. The child then develops a “survival” style of relating and develops self-talk that goes something like this: I am capable of love, but others are not able to love me.  I am worthy based only on my accomplishments.  I depend on my own self and abilities in order to succeed.  Others are...

read more

Core Beliefs and Attachment Styles

»Posted by on Sep 22, 2009 in Life, Psychology, Self-Talk, Spiritual, Uncategorized | 0 comments

What are your core beliefs about yourself?  You can determine this by answering the following questions:  Am I worthy?  Am I able to do what I need to in order to get the love I need?  Are other people reliable and trustworthy?  Are other people accessible and willing to respond to me? John  Bowlby believed that “the infant and young child should experience a warm, intimate, and continuous relationship with his mother (or permanent mother substitute) in which both find satisfaction and enjoyment” This formed the basis of his attachment theory.  The theory basically says that children develop a framework of thinking about their self worth, about others, about their trust in others, and trust in themselves as a result of the child’s ability to have...

read more

Dreaming of the Hero

»Posted by on Aug 30, 2009 in Life, Psychology, Self-Talk, Spiritual | 0 comments

Generally speaking, when we dream about being rescued by  historical or mythical heroes  or perhaps more current heroes within our conscious mind (famous movie stars, political figures) it can be a signal from our unconscious mind that our ego is in need of strength or bolstering during some difficult or challenging life events.   In other words, it can mean that our conscious mind is calling out for assistance in accomplishing some task or act, that it cannot achieve unaided or without drawing on the sources of strength that lie outside our immediate reach.  The resources to successfully achieve the task or solve the problem may often lie within self, or it may be that we need to enlist the help of God or others.   The point is that it’s important to...

read more

Flat Earth

»Posted by on Aug 22, 2009 in Life, Psychology, Self-Talk, Spiritual | 0 comments

Can you imagine how some individuals must have reacted when new evidence from scientists and philosophers began to emerge suggesting that the earth was round; not flat as had been believed for thousands of years.  After all,  the belief that the Earth was flat was almost universal until about the 4th century BC.  Promoters of this new idea were labeled heretics and insane.  And it’s understandable how people “felt.”  This was going to literally rock their world.  Try and remember your last time standing on the beach looking out toward the horizon where sea meets sky.  It gives the false illusion that that the earth is flat.  When I look out as far as the eye can see in any direction, it really “feels” like the earth is flat. ...

read more